Pop Goes the Culture

I'm Coming Back!

2007-08-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

Alright people... It's been a long time since I blogged because I was preparing for the trip home and working at two schools.

So what are my plans for the USA?

1. Sonic Bacon Cheeseburger with tots and a large cherry limeaide.
2. Tacos, nachos and other food rom Mexico ending in "o"
3. Seeing the friends in STL and all over the US
4. Shopping, shopping, shopping (I can always use a fashion advisor, ladies???)
5. Looking through storage for stuff I was missing here.
6. Attend brother's wedding.
7. Attend sister's wedding.
8. Hop a plane back to Korea.

It's going to go quick.

Natural Billboard?

2007-08-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

This is supposed to be in Daejeon. Why haven't I heard of it?

"Transparent" billboard - Geekologie

It's Good to be the King

2007-07-11T17:09:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I love the paparazzi. Occasionally, they take time from their busy schedule of filming Paris Hilton's boobs and Lindsey Lohan's EVERYTHING. What is the result of that multitasking??? This picture.

Now I will begin a caption contest. My entries will be: "Excuse me madam, are those Royal Navy approved flotation devices?" and "Tit's a please to meet you. Breast wishes from Her Majesty" Also, "Do I make you horny? Randy? Would you like to be on my Royal Staff? You could be a rear admiral. Yeah baby, Yeah!Prince Charles is a pervert - The Superficial - www.thesuperficial.com

Go Directly (back) to Jail

2007-06-08T19:07:00.000-07:00

She didn't cry when Sarah Silverman crushed her with that special brand of whoop-ass. She's crying now! The fact that she was crying and yelling tells me she might actually learn a lesson this time. Personally, I'd send her to a psychiatric hospital until she can stop saying "That's hot" as a generic response.

So...I guess my faith in the legal system is restored. Now lets fix the election system.

Jailed Again

Justice is NOT Served

2007-06-07T19:07:00.000-07:00

Well... She's out. What's that you say? She still has to spend 40 days on in house arrest? I'd agree to that if she gets a butch roommate named Bertha that has a thing for blondes.

Let's just say justice is served...
with a side salad and crisp baby green peas.
YUMMY!

Douche Monkey Astronaut

2007-05-21T07:01:00.000-07:00

No...seriously. That's the name of the game. You have to play it just for that reason alone.
Douche Monkey Astronaut

The Case for Mandatory Organ Donation

2007-05-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

Not while you are alive, of course. But this is an interesting idea. Instead of voluntary opt in, a persons organs would be in a presumed opt-in (voluntary opt-out status.) It makes a lot of sense and would cut a lot of the red tape involved in the transfers. Currently, opting in on your driver's license just isn't enough to satisfy lawyers and your crazed relatives.
The Case for Mandatory Organ Donation

Our Crazy Language

2007-05-06T19:17:00.000-07:00

I think I might print this out for my class. "verb" is a noun...hilarious!
Engrish is Strangie!

Does Anybody Read This?

2007-04-24T02:42:00.000-07:00

Seriously...am I wasting my time or what? It's time for a readership census. Let's see a comment if you read this. If not, I'll focus on my burgeoning D&D scenario empire.

SocioCraft

2007-04-23T05:19:00.000-07:00

It looks like there's some research going into WoW. It turns out there are some indications that the online avatars can influence the way you play. Alternatively, there is research that says avatar selection follows natural beauty patterns...(humans and elves get more selections.) I hope they dig deeper with this...personally, I always found it easier to play a female avatar for the following reasons:

1. Most gamers are teenage or 20's males. What better way to elicit help than to play the damsel in distress? "I just can't seem to beat this boss. :( Can you help?"

2. If I'm going to look at the backside of an avatar for many hours, I prefer a voluptuous vectored vixen over a rough rasterized ranger anyday.

3. These games usually never involve sex, so the chances that have to watch my girly puppet get gangbanged by horny barbarians is pretty slim.

4. Also...girls rule. It said so on a t-shirt, so you know it's true.

Source

In a World of Grey and Color

2007-04-20T04:31:00.000-07:00

Some people have no sense of humor. I'll give you the basic story on this... The dark brown couch label...that's right LABEL...says "nigger brown." I'm not a fan of the word, as I know many aren't, but this was a mistake in translation, not a racial problem. Believe me, I've been called several forms of "gook" while in Korea. It's nothing personal. This lady filed a complaint with the Human Rights Commission. Of course, she wants an apology for "all people of color." Keep in mind, this was a couch made in China and sold by Indians in Toronto. I'm pretty sure there were only "people of color" involved. So, in the interest of moving this along, can someone get me her e-mail address. As a person of color (or many colors to be specific) I'd like to give her an apology and tell her where she can stick it. There are so much bigger fish to fry and some of them aren't Chinese people with bad translation software.
Chinese translation error blamed for slur on sofa label - CNN.com

Global Warming Explained

2007-04-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

It hasn't been summer since 1970-something according to this. I think that might be part of your problem. Somebody put this guy in a movie before it gets like that "All Summer in a Day" story.

He's Sleeping with the Gansters

2007-04-06T03:40:00.000-07:00

My fish died tonight. It took a while to figure it out too. He was always swimming upside-down and stopping in the water. This time, he didn't recover and swim away. I'm not sure whether I should get a new one or if I should go for a beetle or something else cool like that. Oh well... So long Moby, you were a good trick fish.

A Little Too Ironic

2007-04-03T17:50:00.000-07:00

...and yeah I really do think.

I'm Learning Korean

2007-03-28T08:09:00.000-07:00

I probably shouldn't say I'm learning Korean like it's any other language. Sure, you people with your French and German think you are sooo cool. This is a language with a unique alphabet and unique phonetics. This is completely alien to everyone and it's only spoken by a very small population of people. It's almost like if all the people in LA and San Jose were suddenly replaced by elves. At first, it's good. You know...good-looking, long lived elves. Yay elves! They are very friendly and handy with a bow. But they mostly speak elvish and they mostly think they are better than you. Pretty soon you are like, "You know the sage wisdom thing is really getting on my nerves... AND THE ELEPHANT BEAST ONLY COUNTS AS ONE KILL!" So, yeah...I'm learning Korean.

You Been Scrabbled

2007-03-27T02:07:00.000-07:00

What fun. Autolistings of the music I play.

Who You Callin' Negroid?!?

2007-03-23T02:18:00.000-07:00

I just found this. From now on, I'm going to require dates to fill this out on the first date.

Take the Quiz!

My personal favorites involve asking if the person is mostly caucasian, asian or negroid. Frankly, as a friend of black robots, I'm kind of offended. The questions about reading daily devotions from the revised KJV bible quickly followed by the husband having the final say point out that this might be better suited to zealots. (or Republicans...whichever is politically correct these days.)

Yeah! Get Him a Bodybag!

2007-03-20T19:11:00.000-07:00

This is possibly the coolest video next to the elephant that plays harmonica. Look closely and you will see most of the cast of Karate Kid as well as Mr. Belding. Oddly enough, most of those guys still look like they did in the movie.

Necessitas Un Nueva

2007-03-20T06:05:00.000-07:00

Avril Lavigne's new crazy-maker. En Espanol where available.
Seriously...I can't stop listening to this. Make it stop.
Novia (In Spanish)

Girlfriend (Ala Frenchie)

Girlfriend (In Mandarin Chinese)

Girlfriend (In Acoustic Douchebag-ese)

Girlfriend (Original USA MTV version)

Thanks for the Update Blogger!

2007-03-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

So I haven't posted for a while because I couldn't access my account. It seems Blogger updated and forgot to tell me about it. After a few hours of trying to login and trying to use all of the help menus, I finally got Blogger to load and migrate. What fun.

Anyway...back to the usual crap.

Advances in Redneck Tech

2007-02-28T04:26:00.000-08:00

It seems there have been some recent advances in what I'd call redneck tech or farmology if you will. Just letting you all know. I think these were signs of the apocalyse.

Missles

Beer Launcher

Feels Like Home

2007-02-26T02:04:00.000-08:00

Ever been in a foreign land and felt like it was home? I have had that a few times here. I just catch it every once in a while. In St. Louis, I'd have it a few times a month. I don't really feel like I'm home anywhere, it's just how I am. Probably it was the result of moving at crucial times in my life. I didn't have the family home that was kept for generations or the group of friends from kindergarten. I'm in a perpetual state of wandering. At some point I'll settle, probably not here. Probably somewhere that feels like home most of the time.

New Pics Loaded

2007-02-20T18:19:00.000-08:00

I loaded some new pics from Japan. It's not Tokyo, so don't be too surprised that it's not all that exciting.

Here

Putting Koreans in Their Place Since 5:47

2007-02-14T07:34:00.000-08:00

So a student walked into class tonight and said, "Teacher babo." For those who don't know any Korean, that means "teacher stupid." Of course, I asked why the student would make that assertion. (Then explained what assertion meant.) She said I was babo because I can't speak Korean. To this I replied, "Parlez-Vous Français? Non? ¿Habla Español? ¿No? Spreken zie Deutsch? Nein? That's right, teacher is "babo" for knowing 3 more languages than you as well as a little Korean, so you need to sit down and zip your lip, chief, because you are way out of your league. It worked for a while, and my French and German are purely transactional, but we can keep that to ourselves.

Movin' On Up

2007-02-09T07:43:00.000-08:00

I'm going to steal the 4th floor corner room. I've been there the longest and the view is amazing. Also, the room I have now is like a coffin. It will be nice to notice the passing of time or to see the weather changes. Besides...I'm an American, this manifest destiny thing is kind of our gig.

Stupor Bowl Commercials

2007-02-05T02:51:00.000-08:00

I saw this year's Super Bowl commercials. Most were lame reprints of the same old crap. "Hey look, there's a guy with an idiotic idea/haircut/pet/friend lets take his beer/soda/lifestyle item! Whoosh! Now the idea/haircut/pet/friend isn't so idiotic was it?" Please get a new formula guys. The repetition really only works for the Absolut magazine ads.

Back to Work

2007-01-30T17:49:00.000-08:00

Today, I go back to work after my two days of vacation. It will be nice to go back to short hours. Now if I can only get this place to warm up.

Ashamed Goes Awry

2007-01-25T18:46:00.000-08:00

Apparently, ashamed looks like "ass hammed." That one took me a while to figure out. The sentence was, "If she fails the test she will be ashamed." Or apparently her ass will be hammed. That would be unfortunate. I seem to remember a story about a rock band that threw bologne at a fans bare butt.

My mind is the repository of all sorts of crazy things.

I'm Changing My Homepage

2007-01-21T21:37:00.000-08:00

This sucktastical video was featured as a headline for Yahoo.com. It must have been a slow news day. I was expecting a nice trick for keeping them untangled or perhaps a little electronic wizardry. Lets say I was more than disappointed.

Dasarang is not My Thang

2007-01-15T17:13:00.000-08:00

There is a chicken and pizza chain here that is called Dasarang. I ordered the chicken "innocent." That's the Korean way to say it's boneless. Anyway...the chicken at Dasarang was dry and tasted like crap. Their pizza is pretty marginal too. The price was around $13 for a two person portion. They can bite me. Next time, I'm going to Popeye's. They are cheaper and they have better chicken.

Sunshine Day!

2007-01-09T02:24:00.000-08:00

Today in class I was teaching my little kids to differentiate between small and big. One of my boys kept pointing to his crotch and saying "It's small." I said, "You're Asian, get used to hearing that kiddo."

Of course, I was referring to cellphones... They keep getting smaller and smaller, am I right people?

Also...I managed to write Napoleon Dynamite into an English test... with a picture. I'm so awesome, sometimes it hurts.

Blah.

2007-01-03T04:25:00.000-08:00

Two days in. 18 working days to go at 12 hours per day. I want sleep. (Some snuggling and/or making out wouldn't hurt either.) I won't presume sex. I never presume sex...maybe that's part of the problem.

Happy New Year America!

2006-12-31T22:29:00.000-08:00

Hope the new year goes well for you all.

Christmas in Korea

2006-12-25T05:08:00.000-08:00

So here's what I did for Christmas:

1. Had 4 rum and Cokes.
2. Told a girl I great girl liked her a lot. (But can't date her because her best friend likes me. It's a long tragically romantic story.)
3. Went to a bar that was a sausage fest.
4. Slept in...yes in that order.
5. Ate Indian food for dinner.
6. Went to a bar called Santa Clause (It's not seasonal, that's just it's name.)
7. Got covered in salt from some asshole's snack bag. (It got chucked at me from an unknown location. If I had seen who did it, there would be an American style ass kicking ending in the person licking the remainder of said snack from the sidewalk. I'm about 2 feet taller than anyone in the country and I'm an American, so I don't put up with racist crap like that.)
8. Now I wait till midnight or so to do my Christmas calling.

Oh joy! I should have celebrated Festivus instead.

It Might Get Returned

2006-12-21T18:01:00.000-08:00

I'm sorry I missed this on SNL. My favorite part is Justin Timberlake classing the whole thing up for Kwanza.

Hand Pony

2006-12-20T05:05:00.000-08:00

I think I'm going to start translating Korenglish as a side project. Here are some for you now:
Hand pony - Hand phone
Estickah - Sticker
Vuwie - V
Ling - Ring
Okely Dokely - Ugly Duckling (I know, I was surprised too.)

Korean Club

2006-12-18T17:35:00.000-08:00

I went to a Korean club last Saturday with the whole group. Here are the highlights:
1. Dancing girls (Showgirls, hip-hop and can-can...yes...can-can.)
2. Magic show
3. 3 live bands
4. Hosts that were suited up
5. Special effect snowfall on the dance floor
6. Full time laser light show
7. Whiskey, beer, fruit punch, fruit, buckets of ice and snacks
8. Wet towels for post fruit sticky fingers
9. A bar fight
10. A gymnastics / martial arts show
11. A $500 tab split among about 8 people
To top it all off, when we left it was snowing. It was a heck of a night. I can't wait to go back with just the guys. Apparently, if your table has only guys, the hosts will find girls who think you are cute and sit them at your table.

Scrubs Christmas

2006-12-12T18:27:00.000-08:00

Korea is Going Upscale

2006-12-12T05:17:00.000-08:00

I just went to a popular store in Daejeon called HomEver. It used to be Carrefour. Anyway...when it was Carrefour and early HomEver, everything was discount and they had a wide variety of items. Now they are just like the other malls. I hate it when nice places go bad. Now I have to shop elsewhere...I can't stand pretentious malls.

My Memory is an Odd Thing

2006-12-05T19:39:00.000-08:00

So I woke up today in a cold sweat. Look what I remembered.
Fergie's Past.
So it turns out she wasn't always Fergalicious, there was a time before Londey Londey Londey. Before there was the Mickey Mouse Club to program the pop robots of the future, there was Kid's Incorporated...and they kinda sucked.

Jenny is a RPG Nerd.

2006-12-05T04:34:00.000-08:00

So we finally turned Jenny into one of us. She played D&D in a classroom on a Sunday night in Korea. It think this ups the collective nerd rating of our group. I can't wait to see who we get to join us next time.

Alcohol is the Devil

2006-12-03T17:49:00.000-08:00

I'm 30 now. I'm still alive.
I spent a few hours of my birthday and some of the next day trying to turn myself inside out. I'm doing much better now, but I have a whole new respect for bulemic girls.

Next year, I'm going to abstain from the drinking and focus on boobies. Boobies never hurt me, they only help.

Payday Korean Style

2006-11-28T06:14:00.000-08:00

In most places, you'd have to be a stripper, drug dealer or general contractor to get paid in cash. Not in Korea. I get my monthly paycheck in a fat envelope filled with fresh bills. If you can have this done for you at least once in your life, it really is nice to actually see the brick of money you make. In Korea, the highest denomination is 10,000 won. I get paid about 2,000,000 per month so that's 200 bills. That makes for 2 nice wrapped bricks of bills. I hope I'll have a bank account in the near future. It will be really fun to bring a briefcase full of bills into a bank and request an account. There's something very James Bond villian-esque about that situation.

Vintage Whine

2006-11-19T19:37:00.000-08:00

I have decided that no girls in the world whine better than Korean girls. They are able to emit this high pitched nasal whine while still producing syllables for speech. The whine sounds something like "boo lay boo." But with a tone similar to a rabid lamb being viciously consumed by a syphilitic wookie.

I might need ear plugs.

Frat Boys Fooled

2006-11-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

So I'm torn about all this...
On one hand, I want to make fun of the frat boys that said Borat coerced them into saying masogynistic, anti-semitic and racist remarks. His method of coercion??? getting them drunk. That defense didn't work for Mel Gibson, so I don't see that woking too well for a couple of overpriveledged sphincters.

On the other hand, I'm kind of ashamed for Borat. It's sort of crass to taunt the mentally challenged.

'Borat' victims upset at being duped - Yahoo! News

Test Week is Over!

2006-11-11T20:33:00.000-08:00

Test week is finally over. It was like work hell. I'm hoping we can postpone the next one for a few months.
Some of my classes did great and some of my classes might as well stay home and play computer games. My director said the parents would ask if they know the things they missed on the test. I think we are supposed to go over the things they missed. For my good students, I will say they know it, but forgot temporarily. For my bad students, I will say they don't know it, and repeating it will not help because they don't listen. The parents will then beat their kids and tell them to listen. Hopefully, they will be good students after the beating. Such is the wheel of fortune Korean kids have to deal with.

Britney Drops Some Useless Weight

2006-11-07T16:38:00.000-08:00

I get the feeling K-Fed will come out of this reasonably rich since he's the baby daddy of one huge star and one lesser star. If you read the article, they cite "irreconcilable differences" as the cause. I think that's just a nice way to say K-Fed is a no talent hack that latched on to a superstar and managed to drag her into the toilet. I really hope these kids spend a lot of time with English nannies.
Britney Spears files for divorce in LA - Yahoo! News

Sometimes They Write Themselves

2006-11-02T06:08:00.000-08:00

Here's my Konglish of the day...
We were talking about gardeners and making sample sentences. Here are two that nearly made me die laughing and the kids didn't even know what was going on:

"He trimmed her bush then raped (raked) her backyard."

"He hung the ho(e) from a tree then worked on the bush."

Keep in mind, these are 8-10 year-olds. I think I'll try to tear these out of their books and frame them. This is almost as classic as my kindergarten grade card that says "Puts on rubbers" (boots) and it's checkmarked "no."

Halloween Korea

2006-10-26T17:54:00.000-07:00

So halloween is coming up and Koreans don't really celebrate it. We convinced one of the local bar owners to have a halloween party, so it will be interesting to see what comes of it. In the US, you can always count on the party girls to dress insanely sexy on halloween as if they have been waiting all year to whip out the school girl skirt and black push-up bra. I guess time will tell if Koreans are up to the challenge.

Big Bacon and Alien Karaoke

2006-10-20T19:52:00.000-07:00

Last night I went out to eat with all the teachers at my school. I'm hoping to keep that kind of thing going since the previous Canadian teachers didn't even try to talk to the Korean teachers. Anyway...we had these huge strips of pork which was basically thick bacon and all the traditional Korean side dishes. It was pretty good. The Korean teachers all weigh about 115 lbs, but they can pack the food away like crazy. I think we all got along pretty well. Once the Korean teachers started drinking soju, I think it got a little more friendly too.
When we finished our big bacon and soju, the Canadian couple wanted to go home. I was still up for some fun, so the Korean teachers took me to a norae bang, which is like a karaoke room for a small group. I was surprised they had such a good selection of songs in English. I remember singing "Gettin Jiggy Wit It" and half of "Stuck" when Lauren didn't know the words. Overall, I'd say it was a pretty successful bonding night. I hope we will all get to hang out again, and maybe they will meet my crazy friends.

My TV was fixed!

2006-10-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

The key word being "was." Evidently, Korean TV repair people don't really run a quick check to make sure it's really fixed. If it turns on, it's "ok Joe." So I watched about 5 minutes of some weird talent show, then the channels wouldn't change. Also...I couldn't turn it off. So I unplugged it. I'll see if it decides to work tomorrow, then maybe I'll just throw it out the window.

American Girls, You Are Not Alone!

2006-10-16T18:27:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation class the other night with 3 late middle school girls. I usually try to talk about things they want to talk about so the class goes pretty quickly. Anyway...we got on the topic of what was considered pretty in Korea. They said a small face, light skin and a thin body. Also, all of them thought they were not pretty. I did my best to reverse years of Western culture influence, but you know girls...they're crazy.

So there you go. Asian girls have body issues too. Worse yet...their mothers tell them to be skinny so they can find a good husband...

Ugghhh...where to begin???

Evil Genius Alert

2006-10-16T18:16:00.000-07:00

I guess we will see how super this "superman" really is...
Rare meteorite found in Kansas field - Yahoo! News

My Friend Flickr

2006-10-09T06:19:00.001-07:00

Ok, I got a few good minutes of internet connection tonight, so I loaded some pics with explanations. I hope everyone is able to see them.

The Far East which for me is the Near Here...

Well Who's the New Girl?

2006-10-09T05:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I finally saw the episode of Lost. Who is the new girl? It seems like she's been somewhere else in the storyline, but I can't place her. I'd also like to take this time to remind everyone that Henry/Ben is the leader and I called it last year when he appeared.
So...when does Sayid show up to save the day?

Don't Tell Me What Happened on Lost!

2006-10-07T10:08:00.000-07:00

I know you want to... but the pirated internet was down all week and I haven't illegally downloaded it yet. Until then, talk amongst yourselves...I'll give you a topic. Compare and contrast the current world situation with the warrens in "Watership Down." As Sawyer said, "It's a book about bunnies."

My Internet is Weak

2006-10-01T05:53:00.000-07:00

I'm going to post some pictures and cool stuff once I have a better internet connection. Maybe 2 weeks from now. Until then..it's just text. Enjoy!

Getting to Know the Group

2006-09-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

So there is an odd group of friends here. Over the course of posting, I'll try to break down the players. I'll start with an easy one:
Laura (The alpha female) - AKA "Dingo"

Laura is from Australia, so we have cleverly gone through every Aussie reference possible. The recurring ones are "it's Australian for beer (pronounced be-ah)." and "Crikey!" Laura has a huge personality, so it's easy to make friends with her. She's kind of the center of attention in most situations. Of course, it doesn't hurt that she's pretty. She has a New Zealander boyfriend that looks like he could scrap a bit, so it's a strictly hands off policy as far as that goes. I'm hoping we get to be better friends, she'd be fun to hang with in Australia if I get a chance to visit.

Canadians Come from Canadia

2006-09-23T02:32:00.000-07:00

In my few days here, I have met more Canadians than I have ever met in America. They are kind of an interesting bunch. Highly educated, yes. Highly motivated, maybe not. They just don't seem to have the killer instinct that the Americans have. Maybe that's why they were able to do the socialist thing without much trouble. They have a win-win society, we have a big win, big lose society. What fun!

So I can't wait for more political debates that end with me telling them to take back Celine Dion and Alan Thicke.

Also...I can't wait to chat up the Canadian girl again. Northern girls are incredibly sexy.

Teach-uh! Teach-uh!

2006-09-23T02:23:00.000-07:00

So I sat through enough classes to know that this job might make me start to sound like an idiot. I'll say things like "The food there was very much bad." Even I don't know what that means. So here's my plan...
1. Visit my friends here as often as possible to regain my higher level thought processes.
2. Engage elitist Canadians in political debate in order to retain my witty retort mechanism.

Number 1 is easy, since it's a $1 bus ride away.

Number 2 is relatively easy since there are a lot of Canadians here. Most fall into 2 categories. "We're better than you because we're democratic socialism" or "Who cares, eh." There is one of each in the group of friends here. I'll elaborate in another post since it could take a while.

I Have Arrived

2006-09-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

I got into Daejeon around 9:00 PM on Monday. The city is very cool and clean. Also...little kids walk to school on their own here. It's very safe. I will blog again once I have some pictures and fun stories to tell.

MO Driver is More Secure Than Passport Holder

2006-09-12T13:13:00.000-07:00

Case in point...

To get a passport, I needed:
Birth Certificate
Photo ID

To renew my driver's license, I needed:
Birth Certificate
Passport
Proof of residence (current bill, government mail, etc.)
Previous license
Photo on site
Sacrificial lamb
Declaration that I'm not a member of the communist party or a Democrat
100 percent ID of sign shapes without the text (Hello! I read English!)
Eye exam passing grade

So...this has gotten way out of control. Do something about this, MO. I'll be back in a year to check your progress and tell you to continue! Or I'll tell you to disband. Then really, you must disband or there will be consequences created and enforced.

My name is Troy Caban and I AM the president.

Steve 'Crocodile Hunter' Irwin

2006-09-04T06:26:00.000-07:00

I know Yahoo! labeled this as "Stingray Kills" but I'm going to take an educated guess and say he'd want it to be "Steve Irwin Dies Educating People About Animals."

Crikey! We'll miss you Croc Hunter...

Stingray kills 'Crocodile Hunter' Irwin - Yahoo! News

My Everything Hurts

2006-09-03T19:54:00.000-07:00

I just moved a house full of stuff and the remaining furniture from my apartment. I'll be sleeping on an air matress for the next 2 weeks.

I'm open to massage donations or possibly spine replacement.

Paris Hilton Rates Paris Hilton

2006-08-21T15:30:00.000-07:00

This is the best article ever! Paris Hilton is finally telling people that her music is awesome. Even to the point that she cries when she hears her song. To be honest...I nearly cry when I hear that song too. Of course, I cry because the song is so horrible a little part of me dies inside. That's hot.

Paris Hilton Strokes Herself...in another way this time.

50% of Americans are Idiots

2006-08-06T17:54:00.000-07:00

So this confirms it. I always suspected it was somewhere between 20% and 40%, but it now looks like a full 50%. I'm so disappointed by my fellow Americans for believing in WMD's long after doubt has been removed. Then again it was a little less than 50% that voted for Bush, so maybe the idiot capacity is increasing. This is all very scary to me.

Half of U.S. still believes Iraq had WMD - Yahoo! News: "People tend to become 'independent of reality'"

You Can Take the Girl Out of Louisiana....

2006-08-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

This makes me respect the music marketing machine even more. Somehow they packaged this as sexy and talented. Simply amazing!

Retarded Circus Bears...Ha!

2006-08-01T18:40:00.000-07:00

Debt Free at Last!

2006-07-28T17:36:00.000-07:00

So I just agreed to sell my car. In that single deal, I'll make enough to pay off my school loans. At that point, I'll be completely debt free. It's kind of weird. I've carried debt in one way or another since 1995. Anything I make from here on out will be pure profit (less living expenses of course.) Here's the odd part...being debt free lowers your credit score. It's a crazy world folks...just plain crazy.

Fun with Foreign Languages

2006-07-26T19:27:00.000-07:00

Can you read Hangul? Recently, I've been trying to absorb as much Hangul as possible while practicing some basic Korean phrases. Here are a few of the brillant topics I can discuss:

1. Kim Bop chu-se-yo (I would like some Kim Bop)
2. Yong-o-rul hahl-jool asim-nika (Do you speak English?)
3. Gaum-sa ham-nida (Thank You)
4. Hwa-jung-shil aw-dee e-saw-yo (Where is the bathroom?)

So to sum up, I'll be living in a bathroom, asking about speaking English and eating Kim Bop...but I'll be thankful for it, so I got that going for me.

Paper or Plastic?

2006-07-24T18:19:00.000-07:00

It's official. Credit card companies are trying to kill cash. It's pretty brilliant actually. Start with this generation of kids and slowly move everyone to a plastic-only economy. They forgot one little thing...kids stopped playing Monopoly somewhere around 1986. I'd be surprised if kids these days could even fathom the subject matter. Now, if you could somehow work a credit card into Pokemon or those ignorant Bratz dolls, then you'd have something!

Sky News: Monopoly Takes A Chance On Plastic

Ipod Hacksmithing

2006-07-22T13:29:00.000-07:00

When I get my Ipod, I'm going to mod the hell out of it to remove all that Apple-we-made-this-and-you-have-to-use-our-stuff crap. Normally, I wouldn't get an Ipod, but how can I turn it down if it's free? Among my ambitious Ipodly hackering: Custom disconnect screen, Winamp interface (intead of stupid I-tunes,) custom labels and Mp3 2-way transfer. I'll let you all know how it goes.

HOW-TO: Hacking the iPod firmware (changing the graphics) - Engadget

About 2 Months Left!

2006-07-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

I wish I knew exactly when I was leaving so I could do a countdown. It's creeping up so slowly for me. I still have a bunch of stuff to sell before I leave, so I guess it's for the best. Anyone want to buy some used electronics?

Even Better Than Anti-American

2006-07-04T22:46:00.000-07:00

I feel like this would be better with the Speed Racer theme in the background. Anyway...Kim Jong Il can make storms with his words.

Big deal...I can make the sound of one hand clapping.

Go! Go! Go!

Now That's Just Funny!

2006-07-04T22:41:00.000-07:00

So I found this video from N. Korean TV and I just want to say I was with them on the Bush parts, but they lost me when we became a country of murderers.

Haven't they seen "Team America?"

You are Now Free to Roam the World

2006-07-02T20:38:00.000-07:00

I have recently been authorized by the US Dept. of State to freely roam other countries. Ha! Take that Botswana!

Koreanglish in Reverse!

2006-06-25T18:27:00.000-07:00

I used a translator to engineer the Hangul version of my blog title. Unfortunately, the reverse translation was something like "the pop music goes culture" or something like that. Somehow it's appropriate with all the English mangling.

I am Iron Maaaaannnnn!

2006-06-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

I'm currently in the process of getting immunized to every known disease on Earth. Soon I wil be unstoppable. I'll catch bullets in my teeth and swim with great white sharks. (Or star in a TV series with Ted McGinley.)

Also...let me say that I had a one in ten chance of having severe problems with the JE shot and now several days later, I'm miraculously unharmed.

When I'm in Korea, I want one of these...

2006-06-17T19:13:00.000-07:00

RC Buttkicking

On another note...I got to talk to my buddy Dan. All is well in Korea. We are going to setup some Yahoo based chatting. I also just got my webcam! Sweet!

It's getting closer and closer now. Anticipation is high.

Time & Temp

2006-06-07T17:00:00.000-07:00

Distrurbing Old Navy Commercial

2006-05-25T16:03:00.000-07:00

OK, is anyone else disturbed by the Old Navy commercial where a party comes out of some girl's butt? Then at the end, she pushes them all back up her butt?

Half Day Put to Good Use

2006-05-23T18:00:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I took a half day and read "The Pleasure of My Company" by Steve Martin. (Odd but endearing in the same way "Shop Girl" was.)

I also listened to some Ryan Adams CD's from the library. That's some awesome blues.

I don't know what sparked my sudden urge to become more musically literate and well read, but...

Actually, maybe I do know. I've been thinking about going to Korea. Two of my friends are going and the more I think about it, I like the idea. I'm getting stagnant here. I've had the same job for almost 5 years and I've been living the same week over and over again. It's time to change and I might as well kick it off with a bang.

Nothing is holding me here...so why not?

The Will to Blog is Back!

2006-05-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

So I dropped the ball...I warned you in post #1 that this wouldn't be a regular thing. Don't hate the blogger, hate the flame.

Anyhoo...I got the blogging bug again, and here it goes.

My friends are going to Korea. It's good, and it sucks too. Good that they will have an awesome time and get away from St. Louis for a bit. Bad for me that I will be friend short for a while. I haven't quite figured out what to do about that yet. Maybe a hobby or a class?

Good luck ye restless ambassadors of American culture. I'll keep you on top of the new and popular while you are away.

Merry "Holiday" Charlie Brown

2005-12-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

So I got into a debate today about calling Christmas trees "holiday" trees. There was some kind of craziness earlier in the week about a Lowe's that called their trees holiday trees this year in a move to become more appealing to their multitheistic customer base. Evidently, this was not "ok" with the Christians who immediately were up in arms about it and calling for boycotts of Lowes.

Is it just me, or is that a load of crap? I mean holiday is a generic term that is inclusive as opposed to exclusive. In essence, Lowe's was trying to appeal to a wider range of belief systems. They were stopped by the very vocal narrowminded majority. Do I have a problem with this? Hell yes! I mean, lets be honest here...if Christmas meant what they purport it to be about, there would be less concern about presents and more about churchgoing and charity. So I say to the narrowminded masses, instead of wasting your energy on boycotts, lets see you get out and do something practive for the homeless. Otherwise...leave Lowe's alone. They were trying to include everyone in the holiday season. Judge not lest ye be judged. (Or love thy neighbor as thyself.) Whichever floats your boat. Incase you don't recognize those, they are both from your favorite book. You might try reading it sometime. Maybe during the holiday...

Dance Machine v2.0

2005-12-09T21:03:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'm well aware that this is probably a few months old, but it's worth a second look. Watch for the second kid. He looks like a dork, but he's got moves that put professional dancers to shame.

Napoleon Dynamite, Look out!

Comic issue #1

2005-11-26T10:41:00.000-08:00

So here it is...
Hope you enjoy.

Happy "Give the Indians Smallpox Day!"

2005-11-24T19:25:00.000-08:00

Oh...you know it's true. They escaped religious persecution in order to persecute "savages." Learn to deal.

So I think I came up with an idea for my blog. A hook or "lollipop to lure you into the van" if you will. The concept? A fantastical adventure as performed by my Stikfa action figures.

I know what you are thinking... That's SO cool. Well you better chill for a bit. Great stuff like this doesn't happen every day, so I have to dole out the twisted humor in small segments. Also...I only have 3 Stikfas, so that limits my comedy. Characters will be introduced in short order. I have already decided there should be Lost-like origin stories and an interweaving creepy mystical / sci-fi / comdedy theme.

So it begins....
JT

I have a blog again

2005-11-16T18:02:00.000-08:00

So, I've gone and done it...
I created another blog. But why?

I have little or no good advice. (I have plenty in the indifferent to bad range.)

I'm funny in an odd way that 95% of the population doesn't seem to understand.

I'll probably end up spinning small things into large problems.

So why blog? Because I can, baby...and that's just the way I roll.

So look forward to sporadic updates in the future! Many coming soon.

Heart,
Troy